Once it’s populated, though, we see the setting is less a problem than those inhabiting it. Eve and Laurence’s offspring include early-middle aged guys played by Noah Emmerich, Peter Facinelli and Jack Davenport, the latter accompanied by his ex-wife, supposedly a big rock star played Minnie Driver. Harold’s party meanwhile includes daughters played by Yael Stone, Lilly Englert and Kara Jackson, as well as the apparent girlfriend of one, played by Kara Singer. (This is the kind of ultra-square movie that wouldn’t risk having a gay character but will include a “bi-curious” hottie for titillation’s sake. And naturally, her big sex scene is with a guy.)
I won’t name the grandkids besides Mackenzie, but you get the picture: the movie is overstuffed with characters. It would indeed take an Altman to integrate so many people into a story in interesting ways, and Harris simply doesn’t have the requisite skill-set. Most of the younger characters are pallid sitcom types, and many of the plot lines involve rutting or the promise of it.
That leaves the older characters, who fortunately are played by actors who truly know their business. Although the three wend their ways through the whole plot, it’s only in the last act that we get firm sense of what unites and divides them. Eve, it turns out, really digs Harold but doubts whether her brain and life can accommodate a fourth husband. For his part, Harold thinks he can change—i.e., stop being such a satyr—but is about to run into proof that reform may be impossible. And Laurence, the most interesting character (who occasions the best performance), finds himself charmed by Harold and yet still infatuated with Eve.
It’s thanks to the skills of Malkovich (bald), Close (botoxed) and Stewart (with a full head of hair!) that the movie ends up not a total yawn. They bring life to the characters in ways that give the trite story an unexpected but welcome emotional veracity. Finally, “The Wilde Wedding” deserves what I’ll dub the Anti-“Get Out” Award for using Billy Idol’s “White Wedding” with no evident irony. That may be the funniest thing about it, since if any film qualifies as this season’s White People’s Problems movie, this is it.
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